Lynne S. Gots, Ph.D.
Licensed Psychologist
Knowing When to Put Change on Hold
By Lynne Gots, posted on February 3rd, 2013.
I’m in the business of helping people change—their habits, their thoughts, their behavior. But sometimes staying the course is the wisest choice.
In my first post of the New Year, I outlined my Five-Minute Plan for changing behavior. I committed to trying it out myself by writing for five minutes a day with the goal of blogging weekly.
That hasn’t happened.
At first I felt guilty. After all, how can I expect others to follow my advice if I can’t apply it to my own life? But then I took a more mindful perspective, setting aside the self-judgments and extending to myself the compassion I’d readily give to others.
You see, this isn’t a good time for me to try to change my habits. A family health crisis has consumed my time and emotional energy. So in order to maintain my mental acuity and physical wellbeing, I’ve had to decide what’s most important for me to do right now.
Get enough sleep. Prepare nourishing meals. Keep up with a modest exercise regimen to clear my head and relieve stress. Meditate. Walk my dogs. Talk to my husband and children. Be fully present and on my game at work.
Blogging doesn’t make the cut.
So I’ll be taking a brief hiatus and will return when the time is right, whenever that is.
Tags: behavior change, compassion, mindfulness
Posted in Acceptance and Mindfulness, Behavior Change |
How to Make Any New Year’s Resolution Stick in Five Minutes a Day
By Lynne Gots, posted on January 7th, 2013.
In my last post, I promised to share my Five Minute Rule for changing any behavior. Here it is. Live. In real time.
I’m taking five minutes right now to work on this post. Maybe I’ll finish it, and maybe I won’t. But that’s not the point.
My goal for this exercise is to start developing a new habit: writing regularly. One of my New Year’s resolutions is to blog more often, maybe once a week. So if I want to become a more prolific blogger, I have to build the habit of writing.
OK, I’ll admit this was one of my resolutions last year, too. Not unlike most people, I seem to recycle my resolutions.
[There went five minutes. I will pick this up again tomorrow.]
I actually managed to post once or twice a week for a while until other obligations got in the way. Then I fell out of the habit and found it harder and harder to start up again
So I’ve decided to commit to just five minutes a day. I don’t need to find an hour’s worth of time for writing. I don’t need to feel inspired. I just have to sit down and write. For five minutes.
You can apply the Five Minute Rule to any type of activity you’d like to initiate. Exercise? Take a five-minute walk. It won’t get you in shape, but it will be a start. Later you can extend the time. Organization? Take five minutes a day to clean a drawer or sort through stacks of papers.
We tend to get overly ambitious with our plans to change and then have trouble either starting or sticking with them. But convincing yourself to do something for five minutes isn’t too hard.
So take five and get going.
Tags: changing behavior, exercise, New Year's resolutions, organization
Posted in Behavior Change, Techniques |
Why You Don’t Have to Wait for the New Year to Start Making Healthy Changes
By Lynne Gots, posted on December 15th, 2012.
In the bustle of the holiday season, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. We all have too much to do and not enough hours. So this isn’t the optimal time to start a diet (or work on getting more sleep or initiate a new exercise regimen or stop smoking or cut down on drinking or make any changes you’ve thought about and tried unsuccessfully to implement in the past).
Or is it?
Contrary to conventional wisdom, there’s no perfect time to begin building healthier habits. In fact, the very notion of a “right time” often prevents would-be self-improvers from taking the first step. If you’ve ever told yourself, “I’ll get back on track tomorrow” (after you’ve eaten the package of Oreos and are about to dig into the pint of Ben & Jerry’s) or “I’ll start my diet and exercise program on January 2,” you know what I mean.
Right now—whenever now happens to be—is the best time to lay the groundwork if you’ve decided you really want to change.
Thinking about how modifying unhealthy behaviors would improve your life is the first—and most important—step. Most people skip over this part. They jump right in and try to make drastic changes without really considering the costs and benefits of the work involved. This all-or-nothing approach inevitably ends up backfiring because, if you’re not absolutely convinced the outcome is worth the effort, you won’t stick with it.
So take out a piece of paper or your favorite electronic device and start making a list. Ask yourself, “How would my life be different if I could reach my health goals?” Be as specific as possible. So, for example, rather than saying, “I’d be happier,” itemize the reasons you’d feel better: “I’ll feel proud of myself for sticking with this commitment,” or, “I’ll be able to play with the kids without getting breathless,” or, “I can save the money I spend on cigarettes and buy the iPad I’ve been wanting.”
After you’ve come up with as many reasons you can think of, read them every day for the next week. In my next post, I’ll share my Five Minute Rule for developing new habits.
Tags: behavior change, health, weight loss
Posted in Behavior Change, Goals, Motivation, Self-help, Techniques |
