purchase levitra My dog Baxter howls at sirens.  My other dog, Freddie, isn’t a born howler.  But when Baxter raises his snout skyward and starts to bay, Freddie answers the call of the wild and sings the bass line.  There’s nothing I can do to stop them.   If we’re out walking and the neighbors glare at me for creating a public disturbance, I just smile and give a sheepish shrug.

This is a good practice to keep in mind if you’re planning to attend a holiday gathering with a spouse, partner, or child who doesn’t behave quite as you’d like.  I’m not saying you should tolerate boorish manners or rudeness.  Even my dogs have learned to sit politely until I tell them they can eat.  But fighting nature is simply a lost cause.

Consider this common scenario.  You’re bringing home a significant other for the first time to celebrate the holidays.  Your relatives are a boisterous bunch.  It’s hard to get a word in edgewise around them, especially after they’ve emptied the punch bowl.  Your SO is reserved.   You love his quick wit and sharp observations, but it takes a while for him to open up.  Noisy crowds make him retreat awkwardly to a corner.  You’re afraid your outgoing family will mistake his shyness for unfriendliness, or worse, they’ll deem him boring.

What should you do?

You can make an effort to include him in the conversation, but don’t expect him to be anything other than who he is.  If he’s an introvert who’s more comfortable with just a few close friends than in a large crowd, he’ll never be the life of the party.  Get over it.  You don’t need to apologize for him, and you shouldn’t feel responsible for his behavior.  In fact, the more you try to coax him out of his shell, the more uncomfortable and self-conscious he’ll feel.  So do as I do when the dogs start to howl:  smile and shrug.

Oh, and enjoy the eggnog if there’s any left.