Lynne S. Gots, Ph.D.
Licensed Psychologist
Knowing When to Put Change on Hold
By Lynne Gots, posted on February 3rd, 2013.
I’m in the business of helping people change—their habits, their thoughts, their behavior. But sometimes staying the course is the wisest choice.
In my first post of the New Year, I outlined my Five-Minute Plan for changing behavior. I committed to trying it out myself by writing for five minutes a day with the goal of blogging weekly.
That hasn’t happened.
At first I felt guilty. After all, how can I expect others to follow my advice if I can’t apply it to my own life? But then I took a more mindful perspective, setting aside the self-judgments and extending to myself the compassion I’d readily give to others.
You see, this isn’t a good time for me to try to change my habits. A family health crisis has consumed my time and emotional energy. So in order to maintain my mental acuity and physical wellbeing, I’ve had to decide what’s most important for me to do right now.
Get enough sleep. Prepare nourishing meals. Keep up with a modest exercise regimen to clear my head and relieve stress. Meditate. Walk my dogs. Talk to my husband and children. Be fully present and on my game at work.
Blogging doesn’t make the cut.
So I’ll be taking a brief hiatus and will return when the time is right, whenever that is.
Tags: behavior change, compassion, mindfulness
Posted in Acceptance and Mindfulness, Behavior Change |
Why You Don’t Have to Wait for the New Year to Start Making Healthy Changes
By Lynne Gots, posted on December 15th, 2012.
In the bustle of the holiday season, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. We all have too much to do and not enough hours. So this isn’t the optimal time to start a diet (or work on getting more sleep or initiate a new exercise regimen or stop smoking or cut down on drinking or make any changes you’ve thought about and tried unsuccessfully to implement in the past).
Or is it?
Contrary to conventional wisdom, there’s no perfect time to begin building healthier habits. In fact, the very notion of a “right time” often prevents would-be self-improvers from taking the first step. If you’ve ever told yourself, “I’ll get back on track tomorrow” (after you’ve eaten the package of Oreos and are about to dig into the pint of Ben & Jerry’s) or “I’ll start my diet and exercise program on January 2,” you know what I mean.
Right now—whenever now happens to be—is the best time to lay the groundwork if you’ve decided you really want to change.
Thinking about how modifying unhealthy behaviors would improve your life is the first—and most important—step. Most people skip over this part. They jump right in and try to make drastic changes without really considering the costs and benefits of the work involved. This all-or-nothing approach inevitably ends up backfiring because, if you’re not absolutely convinced the outcome is worth the effort, you won’t stick with it.
So take out a piece of paper or your favorite electronic device and start making a list. Ask yourself, “How would my life be different if I could reach my health goals?” Be as specific as possible. So, for example, rather than saying, “I’d be happier,” itemize the reasons you’d feel better: “I’ll feel proud of myself for sticking with this commitment,” or, “I’ll be able to play with the kids without getting breathless,” or, “I can save the money I spend on cigarettes and buy the iPad I’ve been wanting.”
After you’ve come up with as many reasons you can think of, read them every day for the next week. In my next post, I’ll share my Five Minute Rule for developing new habits.
Tags: behavior change, health, weight loss
Posted in Behavior Change, Goals, Motivation, Self-help, Techniques |
Let’s Get Digital: Setting Goals and Tracking Progress
By Lynne Gots, posted on December 31st, 2011.
If you’re like a lot of people I know, finding the perfect system for keeping track of the changes you’re trying to make can get in the way of monitoring your progress. Some of my patients spend weeks researching apps for logging behavior or combing office supply stores for just the right calendar. And guess what? Their quest for the best prevents them from ever actually getting started.
No method will magically transform you. Remember, it’s just a tool. Don’t get bogged down. Just find one and try it.
Say you want to lose weight or get fit. The array of on-line options for tracking nutritional data, creating food plans, measuring exercise, and boosting motivation can be overwhelming. I road tested a few programs. I hated one of them; I can endorse another with only a minor reservation.
The one I hated, which I won’t name but will say is highly popular, requires the purchase of very expensive exercise DVDs and vitamin-enriched smoothies. You can also buy additional measurement tools, such as meal trackers. In fact, every component of the program costs extra. It smacks both of commercialism and evangelism, which bugs me. Plus, the smoothies look and taste like something the dogs would cough up after eating grass. So I returned it all and went back to my research.
I didn’t have to search very hard because several magazines I subscribe to did the work for me. I found one site mentioned frequently. The Great and Powerful Dr. Oz even recommended it! So I signed up.
It’s called SparkPeople.com. You can keep track of fitness and nutritional data online or through a mobile app, and it’s free. You can customize it to set other health- and well-being-related goals, such as sleeping seven or more hours, drinking water, and getting out of bed without hitting the snooze button on your alarm (which I’ve personally been working on).
What I like about it: It encourages you to use solid behavioral principles to set manageable goals. Even very small steps can earn you rewards. You can accrue points and win virtual trophies for reading articles and making positive choices. If you’re competitive, you might be motivated seeing the numbers add up. You can personalize the nutrition tracker and enter foods without specifying calorie counts, an option I’d recommend for those who get overly obsessive. It contains a library of fitness videos—free!—so you can easily add variety to your workouts. And if you need an extra boost, you can join in message boards and group forums tailored to your particular interests, where other members will cheer you on.
Overall, I’d give this site a five-star rating. I have one small criticism, which I’ll share in my next post.
Tags: behavior change, self-monitoring, setting goals
Posted in Behavior Change, Goals |
