Cognitive Behavioral Strategies

Lynne S. Gots, Ph.D.
Licensed Psychologist

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More Ideas about Setting Realistic Goals

By Lynne Gots, posted on January 4th, 2012.

As I promised in my last post about SparkPeople, I’m going to share my reservations about one of their motivational techniques:  streaking.  I’m not talking about college students or sports fans dashing naked in front of large crowds in public venues.  In fitness circles, streaking means exercising every single day.

There’s actually an association for running buffs (as opposed to runners in the buff) called the US National Running Streak Association.  It keeps records for the numbers of consecutive days and years its members have run.   Former Olympic marathoner Ron Hill, 73, has maintained one of the most famous running streaks in the organization’s history.  He hasn’t missed one day of running since 1964.  He even jogged a mile the day after he fractured his sternum in a head-on collision, and he kept his streak going while in a plaster cast after bunion surgery by hobbling a mile on crutches every day for six weeks.  Granted, he defines running pretty loosely.  But, still, his accomplishment is mind-boggling.  Most of us average mortals who aren’t made of Olympic material wouldn’t be capable of pulling it off.

Which is why I have my reservations about streaking.  You might find it motivating to see the days and weeks add up.  But what if you’re derailed by illness, injury, or just plain life and, unlike Ron Hill, end up missing a day or a week of exercise?  You might just throw in the towel, especially if you have any perfectionistic tendencies.   The concept of a streak lends itself too easily to all-or-nothing thinking.

Instead of aiming for a streak, I recommend shooting for consistency, making sure to allow for occasional lapses.  Because life happens.

 





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Posted in Behavior Change, Goals, Perfectionism |

Getting Ready for Change: Finding Your Why

By Lynne Gots, posted on December 5th, 2011.

As I said in my last post, I’m going to help you beat the New Year’s resolution rush by giving you some tips you can use right now on how to create the optimal mindset for change.  Why wait?  A little readiness goes a long way when you’re trying to build new habits.  If you start now, you’ll be way ahead of the game next month.

Losing weight and getting in shape are two of the most popular New Year’s resolutions.  Walk into any gym on January 1st, and you’ll find all the bikes in the spin class occupied and the 5-pound dumbbells in short supply.  But by Valentine’s Day, you’ll have the place to yourself again when the exercise converts have all gone back to their couches.

If you don’t want to rejoin the ranks of the couch potatoes yourself, you’ll need a plan.   More important, before you even think of making a resolution, you should ask yourself how your life would be different if you were to achieve your goal.  Too often, we tell ourselves, “I need to [insert target for change here]” without asking ourselves, “Why?”

I just signed on to participate with a few friends in a workout program to motivate me to exercise more.  Before starting, I had to set up a “before” profile and determine my goal.  Lose weight?  Sure, I could shed a few vanity pounds, but since I’m already at a healthy weight and all my clothes fit, this wouldn’t motivate me.  Get healthy?  Too vague.  Tone up?  Sounds great, but not compelling enough.  Increase energy?  Ah, now we’re talking!

Although I already have a modest exercise program in place, my workday routine is very sedentary.  I spend an hour and a half or more sitting in my car and ten or eleven hours on top of that sitting in my office.  Makes me tired just thinking about it.  Yes, increasing my energy is a goal I can really embrace!  It touches on so much I value:  feeling physically and mentally on top of my game, being clear-headed and creative, having the stamina to get out and do the active pursuits I enjoy.  And, better yet, I can get instant results instead of having to wait months to see a difference.

The best “why” will give you an immediate return on your investment.  I’m not saying you shouldn’t create long-term goals.  But those aren’t usually enough to help you stick to your resolve when short-term pleasures beckon.

It’s much more effective to connect your goals to your values.  Being thinner may seem appealing for a lot of reasons, but taking off the 10 or 20 pounds most people want to shed probably won’t change your life.   If your weight is so excessive that it currently interferes with your activities or undermines your health, that’s another story.

So you need to figure out what would really drive you.  Do you want to feel more confident?  More in control of your decisions?  Are you sick of being sluggish?  How about being able to run around with your kids?  Or set a good example for them?

Finding your why isn’t a one-size-fits-all process.   There isn’t a universal solution.  You have to zero in on what’s truly important to you.  Where there’s a why, there’s a way.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 





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Posted in Behavior Change, Motivation |

Waiting for Motivation

By Lynne Gots, posted on October 10th, 2011.

Whenever people tell me they can’t get started on a project because they’re waiting for motivation, I think of Samuel Beckett’s play, Waiting for Godot.  In this classic absurdist piece, two characters sit around anticipating the arrival of a guy named Godot.  They don’t really know what he looks like and aren’t sure they’d recognize him if he showed up. But they wait for him anyway. They bide their time by telling stories, singing songs, napping, snacking on a carrot, swapping hats, speculating about the merits of hanging themselves from a nearby tree, and wondering if a passerby who stops to chat with them is Godot himself.  Nothing happens.  The play closes as it begins, with the two men in exactly the same place, thinking Godot will perhaps be coming tomorrow.

Waiting for motivation is a lot like waiting for Godot.  We often wait and wait, yet motivation doesn’t come.  Or maybe it does, but we don’t recognize it even if it’s standing right in front of us.  We fill the hours with meaningless activities or ones meant to take our minds off the waiting—surfing the Internet, checking Facebook, texting friends, playing games online.  We grow bored.  Occasionally we despair.  And still we wait, not stopping to think that perhaps it’s the waiting, and not motivation’s failure to arrive, that’s holding us back.

So the next time you find yourself stuck, unable to go anywhere until the elusive motivation gets there, think about these lines from the play:

“Tomorrow, when I wake up . . . What shall I say of today?  That . . . I waited for Godot?”

Stop waiting.  Start moving.  And maybe you’ll run into motivation along the way.  And even if you don’t, at least you’ll be some place different from where you are now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 





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Posted in Behavior Change, Motivation |

This blog is intended solely for the purpose of entertainment and education. All remarks are meant as general information and should not be taken as personal diagnostic or therapeutic advice. If you choose to comment on a post, please do not include any information that could identify you as a patient or potential patient. Also, please refrain from making any testimonials about me or my practice, as my professional code of ethics does not permit me to publish such statements. Comments that I deem inappropriate for this forum will not be published.

Contact Dr. Gots

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If you don't receive a response to an email from Dr. Gots in 48 hours, please call the office and leave a voicemail message.

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