My last post described the many ways the compulsion of seeking reassurance can interfere with decision-making and overall wellbeing. The differences between compulsively looking for validation and carefully weighing your options are easy to spot if you ask yourself the following questions.

• Do you always have to ask other people for their opinions before you make a decision?
• After making a decision, do you frequently second-guess yourself?
• Do you change your mind often?
• Does making a choice fill you with anxiety?
• Do you worry about making mistakes?
• Is the approval of your friends and family very important to you?
• Does it take you a long time to make even a small purchase?
• Do you know what you like when you see it?
• When you buy an article of clothing, are you likely to return it after trying it on at home?
• Do you think it’s irresponsible to make a decision without carefully researching it first?
• In romantic relationships, do you often question whether your partner is right for you?
• Do you ask for others’ opinions about your partner?
• Would you call yourself indecisive?
• Do other people get annoyed with you for asking so many questions?

This isn’t a scientific survey. But if you answered “yes” to many of these questions, you’re probably prone to seeking reassurance. A careful, deliberate person might do research and even ask for other’s opinions before making a decision but anxiety wouldn’t be the dominant emotion. And doubt wouldn’t typically accompany a choice as it often does with chronic reassurance-seekers.

After having read this, you may be tempted to ask the people close to you if they think you use them to provide reassurance. If so, don’t bother to pose the question. You already know the answer.