Last week’s record high temperatures forced me to abandon the layers of sweaters and loose tops hiding the extra winter pounds around my middle and break out my warm weather wardrobe. The tight waistbands made me uncomfortably aware of a need to take corrective action.
I’m no fan of crash diets—or, for that matter, of any overly rigid dietary regimen that eliminates whole categories of foods such as carbs, gluten, or dairy products. Unless there’s a medical reason for such restrictions (which often can lead to backlash bingeing), I think a more effective and sustainable approach to achieving and maintaining a healthy weight is to make gradual changes.
To that end I recommend picking one problem behavior to work on at a time. If you’re making unhealthy choices or consuming too many calories, eventually you’ll be able to adjust what you eat to boost weight loss. But you won’t have as much trouble sticking to a nutrition plan if you’ve already put better habits in place and started to eat more mindfully.
Mindful eating means paying full attention to your food and the process of ingesting it—to the smells and tastes and to how your body feels before, during, and after a meal. It means tuning into your hunger and noticing when you’re just full enough, stopping before you feel stuffed.
Grabbing food on the go and unconsciously nibbling can be major obstacles to mindful eating. It’s easy to consume an entire meal’s worth of calories without realizing it if you’re scarfing down your breakfast on the way out the door, tasting while you cook, popping handsful of M & Ms in your mouth as you pass the candy jar on your coworker’s desk, or polishing off your toddler’s mac and cheese as you carry the plate to the garbage disposal.
My solution to these mindless eating habits is to implement just one rule: eat only when you’re sitting down. When you remind yourself to sit before you take a bite of food, you may be surprised to discover how often you nosh, taste, and nibble without even knowing it.
Of course, if you’re prone to frequenting the MacDonald’s drive-thru, munching on a vat of buttered popcorn at the movies, or digging into a bag of chips while you watch TV, sitting down won’t eliminate all your mindless eating. But it will help you pay more attention to what you’re putting in your mouth. Later you can add the step of sitting at the table to enhance your mindfulness.
Take this first step and you may notice your waistbands feeling a little looser before bathing suit season (though with the crazy weather fluctuations we’re having in DC, that could be tomorrow, at which point nobody will be ready).
My dog Freddie needs to lose weight.
I discovered the fact of his avoirdupois last week at his annual vet checkup. At almost fifty-three pounds, he’s only slightly more than five percent over the ideal weight for his medium-sized frame. Just a little chubby, and certainly not porcine enough to win us an appearance on the British show, “Fat Pets, Fat Owners” (to make the cut, I’d have to beef up quite a bit, too), where clueless, overweight denizens of the UK express bewilderment when they discover their dogs and cats are dangerously obese. The featured owners sit in front of the telly every night sharing packets of crisps and Cadbury chocolates with Nigel or Jemima. Their dogs need to be wheeled around the block in prams because they can’t ambulate on their own. Why, then, does it come as such a surprise to discover their pets have packed on a potentially lethal percentage of body fat?
But I digress.
If you saw Freddie, you might not know he’s carrying a little extra weight. He’s a handsome boy (such a pretty face!), well muscled, with a thick, lustrous coat that hides the excess poundage.
And does he care? Not a whit. Lacking the cognitive capacity for self-awareness, he doesn’t look at himself self-critically in the mirror. In fact, he doesn’t recognize himself in the mirror at all. If he does catch a glimpse of his reflection, he barks at it. (Translation: “That big guy better not come near me! Stay away! And, by the way, shouldn’t he cut down on the kibble?”)
So Freddie’s weight doesn’t damage his self-esteem. But it does have a negative effect on mine.
You see, I pride myself on being an informed, devoted pet owner (Sorry, PETA, but I can’t quite get on board with being my dogs’ guardian. They’re chattel.) I’m careful about what I feed my pets. I’d never give them grapes or chocolate or onions, and I panic if Baxter scarfs up even one errant raisin from the floor. Their meals consist of a high-quality, grain-free kibble with no animal by-products—purchased from a pet store subsidiary of an organic supermarket chain—which I flavor with crumbles of hamburger or hard-boiled egg, dollops of yoghurt or canned pumpkin (a digestive miracle food for dogs), and steamed green beans. As a proponent of positive training, I use food liberally to reward my dogs for desired behaviors, but the treats don’t add many calories. A single, one-centimeter square piece of doggy beef jerky can be broken into as many as ten teensy morsels, each sufficiently enticing to keep them working for more.
I also try hard to exercise my dogs, aiming for at least forty-five minutes, and preferably an hour, of walking a day. If I don’t have the time, I’ll substitute with a shorter run or a game of fetch in the yard.
One challenge, however, has been overcoming their reluctance to engage in sustained physical activity. Baxter is now considered a “senior,” but even in his youth he lagged behind on walks, intent on sniffing the ground in search of the occasional banana peel or goose dropping. Who’d have thought, though, that I’d have trouble getting Freddie, a young and energetic Australian Shepherd, to keep up on my slow runs. He’s so balky I end up towing him behind me at the end of a six-foot leash.
And he’s not too enthusiastic about running after a Frisbee, either, despite his breed’s dominance in the sport of Disc Dog. It’s not that he can’t. He’s perfectly able to catch a flying disc with an over-the-shoulder twist at thirty yards. But when I try to engage him to play with me, he’ll snatch the Frisbee from the air on the fly and then gallop past me to a far corner of the yard, where he likes to graze on the new shoots of grass poking through the fence. (At least they’re fat-free and low-cal.) The only way I can induce him to hold up his end of the game is to reward him with food when he brings the Frisbee back to me, which, I think, kind of defeats the purpose.
As if finding the time and motivating the dogs to exercise weren’t enough, I also have to contend with my husband, who can’t resist sharing his evening snack with Baxter and Freddie. No matter how often I tell him not to slip them bits of food under the table, he always ends up giving into their soulful gazes. At least I’ve finally convinced him to substitute pieces of apple and asparagus for peanuts and pretzels.
So for all the reasons I’ve explained, Freddie’s weight isn’t completely within my control. But I still take it personally, as if somehow I’ve been derelict in my duties as a pet owner. When the vet said Freddie needed to drop a few pounds, I felt embarrassed.
OK, let’s be honest. He may be carrying some extra weight, but the excess baggage is all mine.
There’s been much buzz recently over an article in the April issue of Vogue, in which writer Dara-Lynn Weiss chronicles her yearlong mission to put her overweight seven-year-old daughter Bea on a diet. At four feet four inches tall and 93 pounds, Bea was in the ninety-ninth percentile for weight and, technically, “obese.”
To her credit, Weiss acknowledges her own problems with food and body image. “Whether I weighed in at 105 pounds or 145 pounds hardly mattered—I hated how my body looked and devoted an inordinate amount of time to trying to change it.” By her own account, even though she’s currently at a healthy weight, she still seesaws between bingeing on “decadent pursuits” (cheeseburgers, cupcakes, and cookies) and purging—if not through vomiting or laxative abuse (although she admits to having used those methods, too), then by going on juice cleanses or rigidly adhering to a restrictive food plan for a week or two.
Clearly, then, Weiss is no role model for either healthy eating or body acceptance. “Who was I to teach a little girl how to maintain a healthy weight and body image?” she says, in her only display of self-awareness in the entire article.
Who, indeed?
Over the course of the weight loss project she undertakes on behalf of Bea, Weiss earns herself a lifetime membership in the Tiger Mother club. (Ironically, she criticizes the “Tiger Moms who press their kids into private-school test prep at age four, or force them to devote countless hours to piano or dance or sports [yet] find it unthinkable that anyone would coax a child to lose weight.”)
She polices the little girl’s food choices. She berates a Starbuck’s barrista for not knowing the exact calorie count in a kid’s hot chocolate. She withholds dessert, extra portions, and dinner (when she felt her daughter had consumed too many calories at a school French heritage celebration). She alienates friends and family, including her husband, who “soon tired of the food restrictions and the glacial rate of weight loss and stopped actively participating.”
The “Red Light, Green Light, Eat Right” program the family followed, created by Joanna Dolgoff, MD, seems, at least on the surface, to promote sensible eating habits without being overly restrictive. For example, on her website, Dr. Dolgoff distinguishes between “healthy” and “junky” green light (low calorie) choices. But Weiss manages to put her own personalized, eating-disordered spin on the doctor’s recommendations, filling Bea up with diet soda and fat-free, processed snack foods while limiting fruits (which can be eaten freely) because she found Bea’s consumption of them “excessive.”
By demonizing entire categories of foods, making others available solely on the basis of their negligible calorie counts, and subverting Bea’s hunger with low-cal cookie facsimiles devoid of nutritional value, Weiss might as well be giving her daughter a tutorial on how to develop an eating disorder. And instead of seeing Bea’s weight as a behavioral issue involving modifiable eating and exercise habits, she prefers to medicalize it, liking the word “obese” because it “carries a scary, diagnostic tone.” Some sports are added, and Bea even enjoys them, but physical activity doesn’t become a family endeavor because Weiss herself hasn’t been to a gym in over a decade.
By her eighth birthday, Bea had grown two inches, lost sixteen pounds, and acquired, as a reward for her weight loss, a feather hair extension and wardrobe of designer dresses. Weiss hastens to add, “Incredibly, she has not yet exhibited symptoms of intense psychological damage.”
Talk to me in ten years.
When Weiss presses her daughter to take pride in her new appearance, telling her how different she is from “that fat girl [who] is a thing of the past,” Bea responds with a depth of insight that far surpasses her mother’s. “That’s still me,” she replies. “I’m not a different person just because I lost sixteen pounds. Just because it’s in the past doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.”
In the way of many controversial media figures these days, Weiss has gotten herself a book contract. I wonder what she’ll write. . . A parenting book? A diet book? Or a sociopolitical treatise on the childhood obesity epidemic in early 21st century America? I can hardly wait to find out.