The idea of making a decision based on a “gut instinct,” or intuition, may have some theoretical merit but for someone with OCD, it’s like kryptonite.
Neuroscientists have constructed complex processing theories to explain the concept of “just knowing,” or intuition. Our brains are like computers, constantly comparing new sensory information and events with memories of past experiences and stored knowledge to come up with predictions of what will happen next. This process occurs so quickly and subconsciously that we’re not aware it’s happening—hence, the idea of a gut feeling. The opposite of intuition is methodical analytical thinking. Both can be helpful, depending on the situation. But people with OCD tend to overanalyze decisions, while also falling prey to emotional—typically, anxious—reasoning. The result? Uncertainty and decision-making paralysis.
One common OCD worry is whether a relationship is “right.” Typical obsessive questions include: “Do I feel love for my partner?” “Do we share enough in common?” “ What if my feelings change?” “How can I be sure I want to be in this relationship?” Constant analysis—compulsive checking for the elusive, correct emotional reaction, seeking reassurance from relationship websites and forums, asking friends and family for advice—doesn’t resolve the doubt and causes more anxiety, making it impossible to experience a rewarding emotional connection.
A site dedicated to forming healthy relationships describes a gut instinct as “your immediate understanding of something,” requiring “no need to think it over or get another opinion—you just know” [italics mine].
This type of popular wisdom—the idea that you can “just know”–adds to the distress many people with OCD experience in the face of major life decisions—not only about whether to get married or divorced, but also about whether to have children, go to graduate school, change jobs, or buy a house. OCD makes it virtually impossible to trust your gut because one of its major cognitive manifestations is doubt. It’s more likely to kick you in the gut and overwhelm you with incessant questions about your choices than to allow for intuition to help you.
So if you have OCD, don’t expect a feeling to inform your decisions. Rely, instead, on analysis (but not too much), experience, values, and common sense to guide you. And make room for a healthy measure of uncertaintly about the choices you ultimately make.
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